So you think your marriage needs work? You want to improve the status of your partnership but before you do that, it might be wise to see what is going right in your marriage. As the saying goes don’t fix what ain't broken, you don’t want to tinker or throw out what is successful in your union. Surely something must be going right, you married each other for some reason!
Think about the following aspects or marriage and review whether they are working for you or not:
- Ability to resolve conflict: Can you resolve conflict with your partner in a positive manner? If so this is a good thing. If you are able to calmly discuss problems and come up with resolutions that both partners agree on then this aspect is working well for you.
- Communication: Is communication open and honest? Can you discuss anything with your partner in a manner that you are happy with? Is your partner able to talk about anything with you? If so then your communication channels are open and working well.
- Sex: How is your sex life? Do you and your partner both enjoy a satisfying sex life? Remember to discuss this with your partner. Their needs may be different and their thoughts on this matter may not correspond with yours.
- Appreciation of each other: Do you and your partner show each other how much you appreciate the other? If you both respect each other and show how much you appreciate each others thoughts, actions and words then this aspect is working in your marriage.
- Discipline of children: Do you and your partner agree with the rules of rearing your children? Do you back each other up when disciplining your children? If your kids are happy and well-adjusted then you are probably getting this aspect of your marriage right!
- Individuality: Do you and your partner have the right to express your individuality in the marriage? Are you allowed personal space or given time to pursue areas of interest for yourself? If this is happening in your marriage then each partner will have the opportunity to grow as a person.
- Quality time together: Do you and your partner spend time together in a positive manner in pursuits you have in common? Do you have joint interests? Sharing an interest helps you grow together as a couple as it gives you a common goal and lets you enjoy each others company in an activity you both enjoy. If you have this in your marriage then keep it! This certainly doesn’t need to change.
- Compromise: You can’t please everyone all the time so everyone needs to compromise. If both partners are prepared to negotiate on different issues then this is a good aspect of any partnership to keep.
Discovering what is working in your marriage might be a pleasant surprise!