So you’ve reached a time in your marriage where you realize that your life revolves around your work, children and meeting the mortgage payments. Your partner, that stranger you share a bed with, is a part of this world, and someone you interact with, but only on a superficial level. If you aren’t happy with this arrangement then it is time to fix it! And one way to rectify this problem is to find a common interest with your partner and then make time to share this interest.
It may be that the interest you choose to cultivate will be one that is a common goal you and your partner are working towards. Perhaps you both want to travel. Can you take language classes together? Or perhaps you want to renovate your home. Maybe you could learn how to restore furniture together. Get out your list of common goals and see if there are any interests on the list that you could cultivate together.
If that doesn’t appeal to you think about the things that occupy your time. Usually it’s work and the children. Perhaps your children play sports. If they do, is there any way you can get involved in the sport together? Could you take over the fundraising as a couple, or if you and your partner have knowledge of the sport your children are playing you could offer to help out by coaching, managing or running fitness sessions. Be involved this way will not only cultivate your relationship as a couple, but it will foster family time together which is a very good thing.
Perhaps both of you work in similar fields and are so busy you never have time for each other. Is it possible to join your expertise and start a company together? Or perhaps you hate your job and so does your spouse. Talk to each other and find out if there is a common business venture you could get in to together. You both may have a secret desire to run a home business or start a restaurant but were never game to say it. Talk about what you want to do with your career. You may be surprised to find your partner wants the same things.
You may have other interests you would like to try but have never had the time or the courage to attempt. Discuss these with your partner. Do you want to learn ballroom dancing or attend life art classes? Perhaps you want to take guitar lessons or go horseback riding. Maybe your partner knits gorgeous sweaters and you would like to learn how it’s done. If you don’t discuss your interests, your partner won’t be able to get involved. Who knows, your skill of fishing may be just the thing your partner wants to learn! Be open and willing to try your partners ideas and cultivate your relationship further.